You Don’t Need to Bounce Back - Growing Forward in Motherhood

“Bounce back.”

It’s the phrase every mother hears - bounce back to your old body, your old routine, your old self.

And it’s bullshit. 

Here’s the truth: you’re not meant to bounce back. You’re not going backwards.

Entering motherhood is not about running back to who you were, but with an adorable new sidekick. It’s about growing forward into who you’re becoming. It is a mothermorphosis!

The Myth of Bouncing Back

The idea of “bouncing back” makes it sound like there’s only one version of you that’s valid: the old you. The one who had more sleep, more time, a flatter stomach, a clearer identity and a simpler life.

But that’s not how transformation works.

When a butterfly emerges, no one asks it to turn back into a caterpillar. And yet, mothers are constantly told they should “get back” to who they were before kids - physically, emotionally, and even socially. We’re expected to mother like we don’t have jobs and work like we don’t have children. Not to mention the “fixes” that exist to help us erase all physical signs of pregnancy or labour.

Whether it’s the pesky patriarchy at work or just a ploy to sell us things that remove evidence of our bodies’ miraculous work, “bouncing back” is the most toxic (and dangerous) ideology that still surrounds motherhood. It’s no wonder so many of us feel guilty, ashamed, or like we’re “failing.”

The Reality of Change

Motherhood is a metamorphosis. When you become pregnant your DNA literally changes and you grow an entirely new human. It changes your body, your mind, your priorities, and your sense of self. 

And that’s not a flaw, it’s part of the design. 

Yes, it’s messy. Yes, it’s overwhelming. Yes, sometimes it feels like it would be easier to just try and fit ourselves back into the familiar comfort of our “old” selves. But the change is both the inevitable reality of becoming a mother AND an opportunity to grow into a deeper, stronger version of yourself.

Most of spend a great deal of time resisting the changes that come with motherhood and not only is it entirely pointless, but it’s a waste of energy.

Instead of fighting to go back, what if you gave yourself permission to move forward?

What Growing Forward Looks Like

Growing forward is about embracing the new version of you. That might look like:

• Rebuilding confidence in your choices as a mum and as a woman.
• Redefining your identity to include the parts of you that motherhood has awakened.
• Creating balance and boundaries that work for your real, everyday life.
• Finding joy in small wins instead of chasing perfection.
• Accepting and embracing the new life season you’re in.

It’s not about being the same as before, it’s about becoming whole in a new way.

Why Support Matters

This shift isn’t easy to navigate alone.  Personally, I army crawled through it, alone, for years and the result was mostly more confusion and resentment. Mothers are often caught in the gap between “you’re fine” and “you need medical help.” When I needed it, I felt completely and utterly isolated in that gap. Coaching can bridge that space, and that is why this work matters so much to me - giving you a safe, non-judgmental place to process, explore, and step into the woman you’re becoming.

You don’t need someone to tell you to be grateful or to “just enjoy it.” Because the truth is, that’s not the whole picture, you can feel grateful AND be struggling to navigate this new stage of life, you can “just enjoy it” and dislike feeling like you have lost yourself. You need someone who understands both the dichotomy of motherhood and the transformation, and can walk alongside you as you grow through it.

Remember, you don’t have to bounce back. And if anyone mentions anything about “bouncing back” you have my full permission to tell them: “fuck off, I’m not going backwards.”

You’re becoming someone new. And you have the power to shape this version of you.